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About Varied / Hobbyist Member Semira Evonette23/Female/United States Group :iconlovers-of-lawliet: Lovers-of-Lawliet
 
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Deviant for 5 Years
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These are my deviants.

Fan fiction. Fan art. Drawing. Self portraits. Cosplay, and colored in photos will be placed in here. As well as poems and lyrics.

Abuse. Something that is often swept under the rug and made excuses for. Victims who blame themselves for the other person's behavior. And the common memories of how the person use to be. A lot of people tolerate abuse, and it gets us nowhere. Because if you don't seek help, things can gradually get worst. You can lose your friends. Lose your family, and even lose yourself.

I grew up in an abusive home. It was both mental and physical. There have been times when I wanted to step in and couldn't. I was too young and scared. Any time my parents were together, they would argue and scream at each other. They did it for years.

I was in relief when my parents split up. Finally, they can be happy. Finally, my mom and us can be free from the abuse. Finally, we can be our true selves. Because when you're around someone abusive, it's not about what you want. If they don't like something, they will do what they can to control you.

Usually, parents stay together for the kids. I know they mean well.. But let's look at the bigger picture here. Who wants to grow up in a home where there is always fighting? Where you fear it may become physical again? When threats are being made? It's not worth it. None of us would be happy that way.

Abuse is a scar that can last forever--If you let it.

Whether you're a boy or a girl. If you have a disagreement.. Abuse is never okay. You can have your arguments. Everyone does. That does not hold you responsible for them laying a hand on you. They are the ones who took it too far. And you are the one who needs to get out of that situation. Your friends and family can warn you and be there to help, but only you can make that decision to leave.

That person may belittle you and tell you that nobody else will want you. You may begin to believe it. Because when you know someone abusive, the world seems so small. Thing is, it isn't. There are so many people in this world waiting for someone like you. Even if you don't see yourself in a positive light, someone else will. And even if you can't find someone right now, it's better to be single than to be with someone who is out to cause you harm.

Same goes for family. It does not matter if you are related by blood. If you are being harmed emotionally or physically, you need to walk away and show people that they can not treat you that way. And if you want them to be a part of your life, they need to learn how to control themselves first.

Walking away is not easy, but it is something you must do in order to recover. This is your life. You are the author of your story. Nobody else is. That is why you shouldn't give your control to someone who takes advantage of you. Because when they get what they want, they will learn that they can do it again and again.

Abusive men and women are always pointing the finger and changing the story around. They like to play the victim. They know what they are doing is wrong, yet they still do it. When they think a certain way, they tend to think you do, as well. For example; Cheating. The person will claim that you are the one doing it, because they are. That's one of those red alerts; When they suddenly start accusing you, even when you have never done anything suspicious. They want to play innocent. Thinking, "If I show that cheating makes me angry, why would I cheat?" Why? I'll tell you why.  When they are being cheated on a lot, they cheat back to get revenge. Because of that, cheating becomes a trend. Then they begin to cheat on their current boyfriend/girlfriend who has nothing to do with their previous relationships. They begin to blame the innocent.

As I became older, I began standing up for myself and protecting my younger brother. Although there is still a part of me that remains insecure, I can stand proud.

The only people who deserve to be in my life are the people who love me for me. Who can show me respect, even when they disagree. The moment I meet someone new and they try to gain control, to pressure me and insult me, they are out the door. And I hope that one day, victims of abuse will be able to do the same. It's up to you to make that choice.

It's fine to fight for who you love, to keep them in your life. But it's not a good idea to fight for someone who does not truly love you. You're fighting for something that is not even there. They don't deserve you. People who can honestly say it is Love will show you that it is, not just talk their way through it.

Some victims will stick around because they think they can change the person. People who are abusive are in far too deep. They need a therapist. They need to want to change. When they know they can take advantage of you, why would they want to change for you? They get what they want. Instead, they need discipline. Someone who can tell 'em how it is. How can a victim do that when they are in fear of saying something wrong and getting attacked for it?

You can try to comfort them. However, when nothing has changed, you need to learn when to walk away. There is no need to feel guilty for that. You gave them love. In return, they gave you pain.

Acknowledge everything you have done for that person. In order to move on, you must hold your head up high and tell yourself that they will be missing out. They took you for granted and now they won't be able to see all that you can be.

If you are in fear for your life, I know people can not always be reliable. So make sure that you can handle things when you're by yourself. Try not to wait until the last moment. Go out and buy some pepper spray.

If it's online abuse, keep on clicking that ignore button. That's what it's there for. How long are you going to allow the abuse? You don't have to allow it. You can even get a restraining order when you've gathered enough evidence.

Getting out is a struggle. Staying in is a struggle for life.

  • Mood: Triumph
  • Playing: Mortal Kombat

deviantID

EpicRaveMonster
Semira Evonette
Artist | Hobbyist | Varied
United States
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Although I may not always get around to responding to all of your comments, I do read them. I love all the little comments and favorites. So don't be afraid to click that "Add Comment" button. ♥

·» Interests
Visual Kei. Animals. Nature. Anime. Manga. Video Games. Music. Photography. Poetry. Candy. Cosplay. Snowboarding. Winter. Japan. Lolita. Fashion. Goggles. Martial Arts. Dancing. Sky Diving. Observing. Sports. Stuffed animals.

·» Top Favorite Anime/Manga characters
Horo horo. Shizuo and Izaya. Sasuke Uchiha.

·» Top Favorite Anime/Manga
Durarara. Shaman King. Death Note.
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:iconkusiga:
Kusiga Featured By Owner 1 day ago
You have the WWE Network? That Journey to SummerSlam - The Destruction of The Shield, it such great documentary on them.
Reply
:iconabbiestabby:
AbbieSTABBY Featured By Owner Aug 13, 2014  Student Traditional Artist
Thanks for the :+fav: :D
Reply
:icondatoune:
DatOune Featured By Owner Jul 21, 2014  New member
Thanks a lot for the fav' ! :)
Reply
:iconbutterflyblaze:
ButterflyBlaze Featured By Owner Jul 15, 2014
Thanks for the favs :)
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:iconcricketumpire:
cricketumpire Featured By Owner Jul 15, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer

Thank you very much for adding "Determined spirit..." to your faves     :iconthxfavplz:

It’s really appreciated Semira - please do keep on watching???  :icongiveflowerplz:

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