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January 19
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'Slut' Shaming

Journal Entry: Sat Jan 19, 2013, 4:11 PM
  • Drinking: MTN Dew


A lot of people tend to think that if you wear low-cut clothes, that it makes you a slut, or that it means you want attention. But that is not always the case. Sure, it's possible for some people. Although, it's pretty ignorant to group up a bunch of people and say that they're the exact same. Just because I may wear revealing clothes does not make me a slut. (I've never kissed anyone until I was twenty-one, nor have I been on a date until then. Even at twenty-two, I've never even had sex.) I don't dress the way that I do because I want attention. I do it because it makes me feel confident. Sure, it may attract attention, but it's not our fault if somebody chooses to rape someone. They should be looking at the rapist, not the victim. They were the ones who chose to act. We shouldn't feel ashamed to express ourselves. (Sure. There may be other ways of doing so. But people wear what they wanna wear.) We're not the criminals; Rapists are.

A lot of people judge each other. If you see an older guy who looks like a pedophile, you're not gonna want him around. If you see a girl that looks like a bitch, you may not want the drama around you. That's a way of protecting yourself. However, when you tell a person she's a slut, that's taking it to another level. You are now attacking someone with your judgment. Maybe you are the kind of person who wants drama to happen. Words hurt. Do you really want someone taking their life because of what you may have said to a person? Nobody should have to die over something so petty.

Point is.. it doesn't hurt people if you want to wear revealing clothes, but it's bad if you shove your boobs up in someone's face who doesn't even like you.  It doesn't (..shouldn't) hurt people to have your own opinion. But it's bad to attack someone with it.

Just because you don't want to attract that kind of attention to yourself, and you don't want to reveal yourself to the public, does not give you the right to tell other women what to do. If they want to dress a certain way, that's their choice.

And to the people being bullied; Stay strong. You know what you've done and what you haven't. If those people are wrong about you, that's their problem. Try not to let a lie ruin you. You're better than that. Rise above it and show the world who you really are inside. They want you to be broken. Don't give them that power. What you choose to do with your body and with your style is your choice, not no'one else's.

Treating someone like shit and tearing them down is more loathsome than having sex with a bunch of guys. (Or girls!)

Note: I don't care who you sleep with, nor do I find it disgusting. Other people may. It is sickening, however, to sleep with someone who is already in a relationship.


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:iconparadigm-shifting:
=paradigm-shifting Mar 5, 2013  Professional General Artist
Love this! Bravo!
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:iconneeeksy:
*Neeeksy Jan 29, 2013  Hobbyist Interface Designer
Very nicely put :)
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:iconconjure-photography:
=Conjure-Photography Jan 23, 2013  Professional Photographer
I didn't know about "slut shaming" per se until recently but the concept has been around, probably, since the beginning of time. I heard an interesting take on it recently that goes like this:

"This [ogling, leering, commenting, judging, raping] isn't a statement about women who wear revealing clothing, it's a statement about men. Do you mean to tell me that you have such little self control, so little control of your emotions that if you saw a woman walking down the street wearing revealing clothes, you would have to have sex with her right then and there? Are you no better than an animal? Clearly we have evolved beyond the indiscriminate mating habits of, say, dogs."

I thought that was exactly on point. It isn't how women choose to dress, it's how men chose to act which is the problem.

Look, I'm no better than any other man in that, when I see a beautiful woman I think of her beauty first and her personality and accomplishments second. It's how the species is programed to think. But that's where I hope I'm different. I know I make comments on your pictures like "gorgeous" or "beautiful." That's because A: they're pictures and B: I don't know about your personality or accomplishments. And that's what dA is kind of about. But if I met you in person I hope I'm (or any man is) enlightened enough to treat you with respect no matter what you're wearing. It's basic human decency.

Okay. That was way too long. Sorry. I guess I just wanted to say: fuck what people think. :)
Reply
:iconjohncestes:
I fully understand what you're saying. Never heard of slut shaming but it sounds awful.
If it is a man doing it then it is misogynistic crap. Most, if not all male misogynists, are secretly afraid of a woman's sexuality and fear the power they could have over them, to reject them.
I especially hate it if it's women doing it. They are playing the game set by the men and their own pressure they feel inside to measure up (and secretly fearing they don't).

Look what happens when a guy cheats on a woman. They woman attacks the woman he cheated with! WTF. Dumb his dumb ass!

That rant aside.....while I don't want women to dress like the Amish, I see some young girls dressing like the world is their gynaecologist! Doesn't mean they are sluts or are "asking for it" but whatever happened to modesty? For any gender.

*sigh* I'm done ranting.
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:icondustyrocket:
More power to you! People should be free to do as they want, how they want. I absolutely detest people who can't stop themselves from constantly spewing hatred, and hurtful things. If you don't have anything nice to say, keep your damn mouth shut! There are too many double standards, and hypocrites out there as it is!

/rant
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:iconalphazion:
Ugh, I HATE slut shaming. :rage:
It's so judgmental and so attached to the worst, Puritan parts of our history. IMO a "slut" is someone who uses sex and sexuality to manipulate people, playing them like pawns and getting pleasure out of toying with them. But using the term to make women ashamed of their bodies and hate themselves is awful. :X
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:iconkessie72:
~kessie72 Jan 19, 2013   Photographer
One can only stay strong for so long though, I don't know how you do it. People call you a slut when you're not one, but all you have to fend off are words... For people like me, it's more than just words, they assume I'm a bad person when I haven't done a thing wrong. I've never hurt anyone, never smoked or drank, no drugs, but they treat me like a rapist, so I agree completely on that... We need to stop pointing fingers at the wrong people =(
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:iconepicravemonster:
~EpicRaveMonster Jan 19, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I know I can't just tell people to be strong and it'll work. I just hope people can find a way to do it. And I encourage them to.

Not really. People assume I'm going to steal in a store because of the way I dress. They keep staring me down like a criminal. And someone even created a thread on Gaia just to bully me.

A lot of people prejudge without even taking the chance to get to know someone else. People shouldn't just give the benefit of the doubt, but a lot of people take their thoughts to actions, and that's just rude.
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:iconkessie72:
~kessie72 Jan 19, 2013   Photographer
I don't know why anyone would go out their way to bully you, you're the least deserving of such negativity. I think a lot of people feel the same way about me, because I also dress unique like you do (you inspired me to actually) but nobody is as vocal as they are with you, it seems. Maybe they don't speak up with me because I'm a male, who looks like the last person they want to mess with, they judge you because... nobody would critique a blank sheet of paper, and like I said, you're a work of art. People speak their judgment in attempt to change you into their image, you may present a 'revealing' outfit, they are simply expressing their disposition with you not 'actually' being a slut. Does that make sense? They're just upset that you teased them, I guess.
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:iconepicravemonster:
~EpicRaveMonster Jan 19, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
It's because I speak my mind, and people don't like what I have to say. So she did this:

[link]

I deleted the thread, though. I don't want people seeing that and judging me based on the lies she told people. She told them that I pick on people. But as far as I know, I don't. I speak my opinion, but I don't attack people with it and laugh about it. She even gave them my user name.

Women do tend to be more emotional about things, so I can see how that would play out. But what she did doesn't change how I feel about myself. It just shows how immature she is.
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